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SessionFour001

Transforming Rules into Guides
JohannaRothman and JerryWeinberg

Our survival rules and rules about commenting are central to the way we participate in interactions. Rules are not to be thought of as bad; on the contrary, we should honor our rules for helping us to survive this long in a difficult world. Then we can acknowledge that our rules may need to be updated to fit the changing world--what was good for us at age four may not fit perfectly at age forty.

By transforming a rule into a guide, we keep the old possibility and add a few new ones. For instance, take the common rule, I must always do a perfect job. Analytically, we can see that this is impossible, but emotionally we may keep trying to be perfect all the time. When the rule is transformed, we can try to be perfect some of the time, when it is appropriate, and be free to settle for good enough when that is more fitting.

In this session, we'll demonstrate the technique for transforming a rule into a guide, while giving each participant a chance to surface some rules to be transformed.

Constraint: Afternoon only

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