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AnsweringQuestionWithQuestion

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Does a question to your question throw you off center?

How can you keep yourself centered?

When is questioning the question appropriate? When is it inappropriate?

SteveSmith 2003.01.24

"What kind of question is that?"

"Why would you (be so dumb as to) ask a question like that?"

Some kinds of questions answering questions are designed to discourage asking questions.

KeithRay 2003.01.26

Keith, I'm laughing out loud. Priceless. Thanks.

SteveSmith 2003.01.26

OTOH, I some times answer a questions with a question so that I can understand the question better.

Sometime though, I say, "Say a little more about that. I want to make sure I understand your question."

ED 012603

Two ways to classify questions:

• Requests for information. They sound like questions, and carry few presuppositions in their wording. Two flavors:
  • Direct queries for information: "How does that work?"
  • Requests for behavior: "Could you explain how that works please?"
• Comments or criticisms, disguised as questions. They sound like statements, and often carry presuppositions in their wording. At least three flavors:
  • Objections, raised as questions. "What about . . . "
  • Statements about behavior, phrased as questions. "When did you stop beating your wife?" is a famous example.
  • Statements about intention or understandign, phrased as questions. "Don't you get it?" "Why are you asking that?"

Often questions coming from positions of authority are heard as more accusatory than they are intended. Often the communication style that goes along with "authority" requires sounding this way.

Suzette Haden-Elgin's several books popularize a lot of this insight. I like them because the books also contain some prescriptive examples of responses.

On a personal level, I am less interested in this stuff than I used to be. I used to be confused. Then I was curious. Then I was intrigued by how and when I might be able to influence the conversation. These days it just seems like unnecessary overhead. It's so much easier to deal with people who say what they mean.

- JimBullock, 2003.1.27

I've gone the other way. I find my own context very different from those around me and am aware how threatening that can be, especially when people "say what they mean". I still try to say what I mean and, at first, trust others to be attempting the same. But I am very aware that misunderstanding due to lack of shared context is common. Hence, Jim's first category of "Questions about Questions" is essential for communication. Not that I'm particularly good at it, the emphasis is on the try.

MikeMelendez 2003.1.27