HelpingBossesBeSane

It's one thing to snipe at Bosses Who Do Silly Things. Still, how do we help them be less silly? It's a hard job if you actually engage in it. That's half the reason some managers go all superficial, I think. The actual job is too much for them

Yet, anyone who is "not a boss", how can we help Them be sane? I noticed that one contribution on ItsJustOneSmallChange amounts to a formula for helping the boss be more sane, if they are inclined to be.

One example is what do you do when the boss says: "I want what I want." First you have to not take the hook. But doing this is hard. See: AyeWantWhatAyeWant for the whole conversation so far.

Anybody got some?

-- JimBullock 2006.10.02 (If you'd have to be crazy to take the job, doing stuff to make them more nuts is redundant.)

One things is that I can help my boss be sane by going with him to do something that is difficult for him. For example, if my boss knows that he should talk to his boss about what isn't going to work, he may hesitate. Fear, confusion, fatigue - all sorts of things can keep him from acting in a sane manner.

I can talk about the situation with him. I can rehearse his meeting with his boss with him. I can go to the meeting with his both with him.

This "friend going with him" is a variation of what I have seen many times at Weinberg workshops and various AYE sessions.

DwaynePhillips 3 October 2006

Nice. I remember one particularly difficult day at my last long-term / interem gig. We lost a guy I didn't want to lose - he resigned. So, two parts to that day, for me.
The whole engineering department and a good chunk of the rest of the product team gave me a lot of space that day. A couple checked in, in three words from across the room. So, kudos to them for figuring out that maybe I could use some support that day, and that often the best way to support me is to leave me alone.
A few folks waded in, looking to stir up trouble, objectively given what happened, and subjectively hoping to catch me off-balance. Yes, I kept a list. Also, you have to expect that kind of behavior in an organization highly-adapted to shooting themselves in the foot.
That organization and others I've seen, unfortunately, was pretty talented at helping each other be crazy. The best reference I've seen on that is ChrisArgyris, and his work on "organizational defensive routines." Think of something similar to neurosis expressed in an organization as a whole - a neurotic organization with processes within it analogous to the internal processes of personal neurosis.
Whatever silliness your boss is showing right now, it may be embedded in a system that helps the silliness along. Doing what makes sense in the face of that might take a bit of help. -- JimBullock 2006.10.03

Jim asks, how do we help them be less silly?

Empathize with their situation.

Demonstrate congruence.

Notice what they are doing well and tell them about it. It's much easier to reinforce good behavior with hopes of it repeating then trying to change poor behavior.

Add to their repetoire. For instance, help them gain perspective through simple measurements.

Define a specific problem and provide recommended solutions.

Use humor to allow them to disassoicate from the emotions of a problem so they can see it from a distance and play with it rather than being emeshed in their own emotions.

Stay with a single topic until it's been processed completely.

Follow Dwayme's advice.

SteveSmith 2006.10.03

Updated: Wednesday, October 4, 2006