MakingContact

Making Contact is how you approach/are approached by new people in new situations. It's especially important for consultants, for people new to an organization, for managers, for technical leads, for people who need to work with other people.

For years, I was unconsciously making contact with people. Since the consulting skills workshop, I've been consciously thinking about how I make contact with people. I'm trying to adapt my preferred style to be most suitable to the current situation.

How do you make contact? Does it change with the situation? What causes you to change? -- JohannaRothman 2006.06.14

One of the things I do is put a frame on my desk that has 3 photos of my Labrador Retriever. In one, Emma just looks beautiful, and in the other 2, she is on the couch surrounded by cushions she has arranged for her own comfort, and looking funny. There are a lot of dog lovers in the world, and inevitably, people stop by and ask, "Is that your dog?" and we have a nice low-key "making contact" sort of conversation that usually includes something about their dog, or past dogs, or sister-in-law's dog. That's a way to meet people before I meet them formally, or to start to get to know the people I'm sitting among.

In turn, I always take care to notice photos on other people's desks, and ask about their kids/dogs/cats/sailboat/summer cottage. It helps to establish a friendly basis for the business conversation we then go on to have. --FionaCharles 16-Jun-2006

I like the picture approach and have had equal success with a picture of my grandson. I never thought of it as a way of making contact, but it certainly is.

I also take in a number of books if I have any space for them, and brightly coloured brochures and flyers (currently AYE, the AVANTA conference and Behind Closed Doors: Managing One on One). I have had great success with the books.

Not to state the obvious, I talk to people everywhere - in the coffee room, in the elevator. I once worked with someone in a volunteer organization who used to sell memberships in the line up at the bank. He averaged at least one a week!

I recommend 2 books. One is Making Contact by Virginia Satir - my copy was published by Celestial Arts and I found it in a second hand book store. Amazon shows it as available by special order for $7.95 U.S. The other is Enriching Your Relationship with Yourself and Others by Sharon Loeschen. Amazon does not list it, but you can get it through the Avanta bookstore www.avanta.net and take the bookstore link. This is also offered as a workshop. Level 1 is available at the Avanta conference in August. I took it last year and got a lot out of it.

SherryHeinze 2006.06.18

The picture approach reminds me of something I like to do. I visit people in their office to talk. I spend as much time as I can talking about the things in their offices. I have surprised myself at how much in common I have with various people in the office. I feel stupdit o admit it, but these other people have families and live away from work just like I do. I have found people who grew up in the same part of the country that I did and have kids the same age as mine (go to the same college as mine).

Working with people when we know each other as people seems much easier.

DwaynePhillips 19 June 2006

If you're interested in people, there are almost always things to notice about them or how they have chosen to personalize their workspaces that it's ok to ask about, and that they enjoy talking about. That can be anything, from, "Wonderful earrings! Where did you get them?" to "Those shoes look comfortable." And if they haven't personalized their space at all and wear totally boring clothes, that's revealing too, though not something I'd ask about.

If someone has mounted their CSTE or PMI certificate on a wall, it's a pretty good bet that one of a couple of things is true. Either they're proud of it, or their management has helped/pushed them to get it. Both are interesting, and tell you something about the person and the organization. I also ask lots of people, but particularly testers and test managers, if they come to TASSQ (Toronto Quality org) meetings or local conferences, and tell them about interesting speakers lined up. I've found my clients to be especially chuffed if I tell them I'm speaking or facilitating a workshop. (They think they must have got a good one.) And then often someone will come out to a meeting they might not otherwise have attended, and gain from it. Then they'll tell their co-workers, and sometimes they also come around to ask questions or talk about their learning experiences. I know I've gone a little beyond making contact when people start asking me for help.

Besides establishing friendly relationships, people's answers and reactions to all of these informal conversations reveal information it's useful to know about their organization: indications about how it's managed, how learning is valued, how motivated the employees are, how safe they feel revealing they don't know everything, and so on.

--FionaCharles 19-Jun-2006

Updated: Monday, June 19, 2006