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SessId026Minding Your Mail: Minor Misunderstandings, Major Mistakes Session Description If you are so disturbed by someone or something that you are ready to burst or tear your hair out, pick up the phone or schedule an appointment. If you don't wish to do either of the above, don't send email. It won't work. Possible Exercises
When a team is working hard on a project, and email is one of the media that it uses for communication, some of the conversations can become highly charged. We even have a name for it -- "flaming." Often the intensity of these interactions is due to a misunderstanding or misinterpretation. By adapting Virginia Satir's Interaction Model so that it contains specific elements for the email interaction, we can understand what's happening in these interactions. This session uses an interactive technique to explore how what we read (or don't read) in email messages can lead to complex, emotional dramas that waste resources and create project problems. We'll learn some very helpful practices that can reduce the chance that we get into trouble in email. E-mail communications often appear to have one dimension to the writer -- a clear, single thought or stream of thoughts. Often we're unaware of much else when we're writing the message. But every communication has two components: feeling and thought. This session explores how our own internal responses affect the quality and appropriateness of e-mail as a flat medium for communication. Can we say what we want to say? Can we match our feelings to our words -- or in some cases is it almost impossible to frame an e-mail message to congruently and completely raise our issues, our concerns, our desires? Are there issues with the self, the other or the larger context of e-mail in a particular place and time? (Note that in some corporate cultures, e-mail is set up for CYA and blaming. Let's look at how to surmount this barrier.) Rick has mentioned flaming. But not every email problem begins with flaming. The intensity of an interaction may start as a small candle, and as we add the kindling of insensitivity, misinterpretation, and confusion, we build the fire to a bonfire or conflagration. Do you find that seemingly innocent statements create bizarre consequences -- anger and conflict? Stay tuned and help us express this session. - SharonMarshRoberts I believe that an author of an e-mail message must be just as aware of these elements of interaction in order to craft better communication. The way the above was framed seemed a bit too reader oriented. I'd like to discuss the interaction from both (all?) sides. There are also Context elements to e-mail as a medium - corporate policies, viruses, etc. - that affect communication through it, so I'd like to see some of those issues covered as well. Thanks! -- JimJarrett Jim, I appreciate your concerns. I edited the description above, so that you can see what I see as the issues at hand. And tell us, what would make this session work for you in terms of format or content? -- SharonMarshRoberts I'm flexible on my expecations for content and format... creative and engaging is all I ask. It's the people that make it for me. Thanks for the updates to the session description - it feels better to me now. JimJarrett I resonate with Jim's point about context. As just a simple example, most email is composed using keyboards. Some people are touch typists, and some, like me, use fewer fingers. (I use about four or five) Some of us usually sit at a full desktop keyboard, while others use a cramped laptop keyboard. Even for touch typists, these factors affect our communication through email. The human effort to generate a word in email is much different from the effort to speak a word. It constrains our communications in ways we normally do not appreciate. -- RickBrenner Rick makes an interesting point. As a touch typist since the 8th grade (and a computer user since before that), I never think about the "difficulty" of typing e-mail in a verbose way. My philosophical approach to e-mail is to use many of the (mostly lost) skills of good letter writing. (Determine your purpose and tone early, details after summary, use a salutation and closing signature - which can help set the tone [Dear Mr. Brenner: vs. Hey Rick!].) But I almost never hand-write a letter anymore - my hands cramp quickly when hand-writing. My muscles are now adapted to typing more than hand-writing. When I do hand-write, it has a different meaning, since it takes so much more time and care and pain to craft. I guess less-comfortable typists may have some of the same reaction to e-mail! This is a definite aha! for me. - Jim There is also a relationship with that sort of context (typing skills) and inclusion/exclusion - see SessId040 - Jim Yes, thank you. I've noted that. Also notice the problems of non-English speakers in places like this wiki, or people who don't have much confidence in their spelling or grammar. There are technical solutions to some of these problems, but the ultimate answer is some sort of politeness among correspondents. - JerryWeinberg SteveSmith: I hope one of the outputs for this session is suggestions about etiquette for email based on the participants' experience. I'm looking for a list of DO this or that, rather than a list of DO NOT do this or that. I've got plenty of Do Not experiences. --Steve Return to top of this page (SessId026).
Updated: Tuesday, September 5, 2000 |
