GettingInformationCongruently

Yesterday I worked with a client reviewing data. We pondered several pieces and tried to imagine why these events happened. As we walked to from the plant floor to his office, I said "Good luck talking to the operators. As soon as you starting asking questions, they're going to get defensive." He thought for a moment, and agreed with me.

In this situation, I don't feel we're blaming. We need to know what was happening with the equipment (was it malfunctioning or performing poorly?), the software (a continuing opportunity), a lack of training?

"Why did you do this, that and the other?" probably won't get what we need.

My first thought is to start with: "What was happening with the process during this time frame?" What other non-threatening questions can we ask? DonGray 2004.07.29

You might address the perceived defensiveness directly - that's congruent. And invite them to help solve the same problem you are workin on, which is getting the information you want. Something vaguely like this:

"Hey, I'm trying to figure out what we can do about <the event>. So, I need to understand what was happening with the process during this time frame. I've asked a bunch of questions and I'm not getting that information. How can we do this?" -- JimBullock, 2004.07.29

I like to start with something like this: "You're the expert here, and I need to understand more about it. Can you tell me the important things about what happens here?" - JerryWeinberg 2004.07.29

In some contexts, asking "is there anything else I should be asking you?" or "if you were me, what would you be asking?" is a good way to elicit information that I would otherwise miss (or that they might not volunteer until faced with the opportunity to not withold). -- DaveSmith 2004.07.30

Good one, Dave. I use variations on that in interviews as a habit. -- JimBullock 2004.07.30

I work hard to avoid why questions. Why tends to put people on the defensive. And, of course, they're always on the tip of my tongue :-)

I sometimes use "Tell me about the last project. Walk me through what happened." As long as you realize you're listening to one person's story about the project, you'll know what other questions to ask. -- JohannaRothman 2004.08.10

Johanna, maybe you'd like to change that to "Tell me about your most recent project." They may not have done their last project yet.

OTOH, "last project" might make a good question: "Tell me what would have to happen on a project for you to quit (the project/the profession)." - JerryWeinberg 2004.08.10

Jerry, thank you.

I ran into a too-common problem recently: management (including the project managers) knows they need information, but they don't know what it is. How do you help people realize what information they want -- sort of the meta-question about information? -- JohannaRothman 2004.08.12

I think I learned the following questions at last year's AYE - they went someting like:
"Describe what it would be like if everything was going just the way you wanted it to."
and
"How would it feel if everything was going perfectly?"

Here's some other 'Getting information congruently' questions for those who like to play with fire (my wife and I learned these at a relationship-building weekend):
To ask your spouse: "What's it like living with me?"
To ask your kids: "What's it like having me for a <Mom><Dad>?"

RickHower 2004.09.30

Rick, any Mom or Dad courageous enough to ask those questions and actually listen to the answers is probably okay to live with. My kids always seem able to tell me without asking. My first wife told me also without asking--by leaving. - JerryWeinberg 2004.09.30

'Actually listening to the answers' is definitely the hard part. I find it helps to check my ego (read: preconceptions, fears, needs, etc) at the door to be able to 'listen congruently'. - RickHower 2004.10.04

I asked my wife the above question. Listening to the answer was not realllll hard, but hard enough. Funny how my wife looks at things differently than I do. It's taken 20-plus years to grow accustomed to this idea. The benefit is worth the exercise.

DwaynePhillips 7 October 2004

Dwayne, I admire your willingness to ask your wife that question - I was only able to do it after getting some �how to listen� training. And it was somewhat painful the first few times � enlightening, but painful. (It wasn�t easy for her either at first when she asked me.) We�ve found that something interesting happens to someone who feels truly listened to � the perspective and feelings of the speaker can sometimes be significantly altered just from being heard � even if no resolution of issues has taken place.
Amazingly enough, my wife � like yours - also looks at things differently than I do! I am still working hard at learning that a different (sometimes starkly different) perspective is not �wrong�, just different.

Re differing perspectives - this thread prompted me to write up a few thoughts on PerspectivesOnPerception.

RickHower 2004.10.08

Updated: Friday, October 8, 2004