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WeAreGoingToHaveToMakeTheBestOfThisWe are going to have to make the best of this _______. Fill in the blank with situation, meeting, project,... When I hear these words, I cringe. I have heard them used too often when insufficient resources were available to accomplish an objective or the target wasn't painted or the next level up absconded from any planning and resourcing. My experience is the words are often used to try and make a group responsible for producing something in which they had no say. How familiar are you with these words? How do you feel when you hear them? Do you find yourself saying them? What are you trying to communicate? How do you feel before and after you say them? What story does the words bring to mind? SteveSmith 2006.06.29 Two thoughts for now. Dick Feller had a song about "Making the Best of a Bad Situation." In it several people in small predicaments are able to put a good spin on something. (Husband thinks he's a chicken? "We can sure use the eggs.") From that I would think that for an immediate event those words could be a way of steering people's thoughts to optimistic attitudes. It sounds like you mean more of a tone of despair accompanies them. In that case a scene from an early MacGyver episode comes to mind. Trumbo: "We're out of gasoline and we're out of miracles." Someone who utters those words in despair has given up (and might be seeking to direct blame). That's when people have to start thinking. KurtSimmons 2006.06.27 Interesting, my immediate, very strong and very visceral reaction the moment I saw the title was frustration, anger and rejection. I felt like someone was trying to "trap me" in a prison of their expectations and needs, that I didn't have any say in the matter. I almost didn't read the page, even, but a competing feeling said that "I had to read it, that something awful had probably happened and I needed to be prepared for it..." I don't remember any particular incident when I've heard those words in the past, but they sure triggered something strong in me! --SuePetersen 2006.06.29 I haven't heard exactly "We are going to have to make the best of this..." the closest I have heard was of the form "If we cannot do this or that, just tough it out." The reaction from everyone was dejection. We had gone to managers asking for help. Not only could they not help us, they didn't offer any moral support - just tough it out. I suppose that is what we did, we toughed it out. DwaynePhillips 30 June 2006 I thought about this another day. It seems that I have to make the best of the situation everyday. Becuase some people took jobs elsewhere, and managers failed to find replacements for them, I have been trying to work three jobs for the past five months. I fall farther behind every week. I have decided that I would do the best I could each day and each week. There would be things that I could not accomplish. I would live with that, and I have made it clear that my managers would have to live with it as well. DwaynePhillips 1 July 2006 When I find myself in a situation where I don't know what else to say to the other person, I tend to say, "Let's do the best we can." I don't do it consciously, and I don't know whether it's truly any different, but I'd like to think it deflects responsibility quite as much as "We... have to make the best of this" does. Of course, I might just be making myself feel better in spite of being part of the problem. - JbRainsberger 2006-07-03 My reaction to "Let's do the best we can." is much less negative. It feels like a suggestion not an order. I get to decide to do it, rather than feeling forced to do it. And I do not feel the same pressure to succeed, which both decreases the pressure and increases the likelihood of success. SherryHeinze 2006.07.04 My reaction to "We are going to ..." depends very much on whether the speaker is included in the "we". -DaveLiebreich 2006.07.04 I tracked down the context behind the words: Three colleagues and I had worked for a week taking two hours of presentation material and condensing it to 45 minutes for delivery to 80 people during a conference call. I was the lead for the project. We had taken some boring material and spiced it up so the audience would find it appetizing. The presentation was carefully scripted with transitions between the three of us. 5 minutes before we were about to deliver the presentation, we were told our time was being cut to 30 minutes so that another speaker could be added to the call. I was furious. Why hadn't someone told us earlier? The new speaker wasn't anyone whose message warranted a change of plan. And one of my teammates from corporate interrupted his schedule to participate on the call. I kept thinking how pathetically stupid the whole affair was. That's when I heard a manager utter, "We are going to have to make the best of this.", which triggered a sense of deja vu. Last second changes happened all the time and everyone was expected to adapt to them, hence the remembrance of hearing the words before. I was prepared to say, "No, we will until the next call to deliver the presentation." But I didn't need to. The speaker they wanted literally called a minute later and said he couldn't make it. I suspect he wasn't prepared. This thread has made me aware that organizations pickle their employees into believing they have no choice other than to adapt to changes as other employees have adapted to them in the past. And that behavior creates organizational insanity, which means repeatedly behaving the same way and expecting different results. SteveSmith 2006.07.07 This thread also reminds me of Jerry's statement, "sometimes I find myself growing angry at my clients, only to realize that I'm responding to something similar the client said or did at another time or place." [http://secretsofconsulting.blogspot.com/2006/04/there-then-them-vs-here-now-us.html] I empathize. "Have to?" On the one hand, all humans ever do is make the best of the unfortunate stuff that isn't under our control - pestilence, aging, Britney Spears. On the other hand for stuff we have a choice about "make the best of" includes "Let's not." Even the inevitable you can mitigate a bit. A small effort in sanitation mitigates a lot of pestilence, while avoiding broadcast media takes care of Briteny. So, what's the message in this sentence, really? That assertion is really an invitation to accept someone else's particular reality. "The meeting sucks, and we're stuck here perhaps forever . . . so, we're going to have to make the best of this." Well, why does the meeting suck? Can we fix that? And do I have to be here? How about a motion to adjourn? ". . . Have to make the best of this." really puts a gaggle of options out of the game. So the first move here is to list out the premises you are being told to silently accept, and decide whether you do. It turns out that usually you don't "have to." Indeed, when I hear the words "have to", I "have to" count to about a billion in increments of prime numbers so I calm down. I don't "have to" do much, really, and most of those things aren't up to you, oh meeting-meister. I allow my visceral reaction to "have to" because it provides me a very nice cross-check. "Do I really want to be doing this?" "Who's decision is this, really?" Which bring us to "we" and an aphorism that I can't believe Jerry hasn't coined already: "There is no 'we' until I agree." You may have to make the best of this endless meeting with Britney Spears. I haven't necessarily decided that yet, for me. Should that happen, I'll get back to you. Don't wait up. Independent of wising-off about this silly, silly way to say things, deconstructing "We are going to . . . " can be an opportunity to help someone out. Go find out why they think they are stuck - maybe ask them - then look for ways out of the trap. Maybe ask them why they agreed to something they don't like so much. - JimBullock 2006.07.07 (That's my post. Make the best of it.) It turns out that usually you don't "have to." Steve, I wondered who the 80 people were in the audience. What did they expect? Who decided that the other person had to speak? Did anyone consider how effective the presentation would be if shortened along with an extra speaker whose material might not fit in? I empathize with your feeling about the 5 minute warning, the shortening and the extra person. Gosh 30 minutes. I guess 7 + or - 2 minutes each? Your messages had just been halved. Was there something that someone decided wasn't that important? Why talk at all? I know I would have gone to the same place you did - I'll do this at the next meeting. OrganizationalInsanity takes lots of forms. I can think of more to start another thread. - BeckyWInant 07.10.06 Hi Becky, I wondered who the 80 people were in the audience. Sales support engineers, project managers, sales people, and sales management. What did they expect? I suspect very little. They were conditioned to their time being wasted. Most of them were probably doing email and surfing the web. I was trying to maximize the use of their time. Shame on me. Who decided that the other person had to speak? A staff person who reports to the top dog. Did anyone consider how effective the presentation would be if shortened along with an extra speaker whose material might not fit in? Nope, not a single question was even asked. It was a weekly conference call. The presentation had been scheduled for weeks. I want to say that the root of the problem is the sales culture. But I can't. I've seen similar behavior in other organizations and companies. Was there something that someone decided wasn't that important? Not that I'm aware of. There was a presentation before ours. In my opinion, it was disgrace. Someone speaking off the cuff wasting my time as well as others. Why talk at all? If our time would have been cut, I would have postponed the presentation. OrganizationalInsanity takes lots of forms. I can think of more to start another thread. Sounds like a great thread. SteveSmith 2006.07.10 Jim, We're going to have to . . . " means that the speaker will impose consequences if you choose otherwise. I strongly suspect the manager who spoke those words was trying to protect everyone from the wrath of the top dog who he has seen bite off people's heads many times. I'm curious about your organization's choices, Steve. I wonder if you couldn't help them be a bit more aware of the costs of their choices, choices that are "free as in freedom" but not "free as in beer." Ever try to teach a pig to sing? It doesn't work and it annoys the pig. SteveSmith 2006.07.11
Why are you working with pigs, vs. people who are looking to either learn from you (in case you are right) or teach you (in case you have something you can learn from them?) They aren't pigs. I was trying to be funny, which may not have come through in my comment. I learned something from them. Some of the lessons are stated in my posts. The most important lesson was realizing it was time for me to move on, which I acted on. I would add to your thought that I want to learn from the other person and I want them to learn from me, which is different than the model I interpret from your post. -SteveSmith 2006.07.18 Well, right now I'm trying to "make the best of" being lost. Who's not learning what from whom? When does this happen, did this happen is this happening? Is there a question in there? One directed at me? So then you have to wrestle with the pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. KurtSimmons 2006.7.12 Kurt, You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. Right you are. Thank you for sharing your thought. It caused me to laugh and left a big smile on my face. SteveSmith 2006.07.12 I'd just started as a tester on a project that wasn't going so well. As I plunged into the documentation, I found that there wasn't a testing plan, there wasn't a single test case AND (probably to no one's surprise) there were no signed off requirements. Yet this project had been going on for over a year and code was routinely being delivered and rejected by the client (wonder why?) I took a stab at the test plan. I came up with a list of questions that i needed to ask the test lead for my consulting organization. I went to her and said -- "Here are 12 questions. I know the answer to 3 of them, who do I talk to or what do I read so that can I get the rest of the answers?" She responded "I don't know. We don't have the answers. We'll just have to do the best with what we know...." ???? I ask you!!!! We were spending money hand over fist -- actually bleeding cash -- and we couldn't deliver a darn thing and we had to make the best of it??? Dear Anon: I suspect those words have a history behind them. I suggest probing for the history. I would enjoy hearing what you are told. SteveSmith 2006.07.18 Once again, I'm lost and making the best of it. In a synchronicity event, I was talking about "terra incognita" just last Friday to a software engineering class at the U. I suspect the test lead uttered "We are going to have to make the best..." because of her experiences. Perhaps she needed the paycheck and speaking those words was intepreted by the people whose opinion counted the most as a positive. Perhaps she has never experienced a successful project and doesn't know anyhing but doing her best. There is a story about why she uttered those particular words. I like knowing it. I find it easier to coach someone if I know about events and experiences that have shaped them. It's more than that -- I like hearing the stories. I'm not certain about why. I think these voodo words are the mark of a placater. It seems to me the person who speaks them isn't talking for themselves. They are trying to move something forward to please someone who isn't there. SteveSmith 2006.07.19 Hi Jim and Steve, Sorry I forgot to 'sign' my post! I'll learn! Jim asked: Do you have the authority, influence, tools and will to initiate the changes that you see ought to take place? At the time I was brand new to the project and to the consulting company. I was absolutely appalled that this was the situation. I ignored my lead's words and dug in and found several of the answers for my testing plan. But the issues with this project went far far beyond bad testing practices. As time went on and I could see more and more areas where we needed improvement, I would, in my weekly reports back to my supervisor (who was the test lead's supervisor as well) make suggestions on how to improve things and I employed, or tried to employ,best practices in my own testing. By the end of my second month with this company the test lead had been fired and I'd been promoted. By the end of my fourth month with this company two project managers (the one I'd started under and the one who replaced him) had been fired and I took over as project manager. The first thing I did was STOP CODING. While the developers took a look at changes that were needed to code already accepted by the client (bug fixes), the rest of the project team went back to the basics of requirement gathering, reviewing, agreement and sign off. It took 8 weeks. My customers were LIVID. But I then began delivering weekly builds to test and, at week 11, monthly releases to UAT. All releases delivered passed UAT and were accepted by the client. Something neither of my two predecessors had been able to accomplish in a total of about 20 weeks. So I did, indeed, make the best of it. But I was absolutely floored - by someone who was a certified test professional (she must have 'gamed' the cert, eh?) - by her initial response. LizDanielson 2006.7.19 Nicely done, on several levels. Liz, The first thing I did was STOP CODING. While the developers took a look at changes that were needed to code already accepted by the client (bug fixes), the rest of the project team went back to the basics of requirement gathering, reviewing, agreement and sign off. Outstanding! I'm looking forward to meeting you. SteveSmith 2006.07.19 Liz, What they (Jim & Steve) said. A question, though. Why do you think the test lead must have gamed the certification? In my professional experience, any idiot can get certified as a test professional, and many do. (Which is not the same thing as saying only idiots get certified.)--FionaCharles 19-Jul-2006 How about "any idiot who can memorize"? In my experience, thinking and listening are key testing skills, memorizing is not. Liz, it is going to be fun to meet you in November. SherryHeinze 2006.07.19 Sorry Fiona, it was a snide remark and most likely not true. I do think she was smart - just not always able to apply it to the situation at hand. I'm so looking forward to meeting you all in November as well! LizDanielson 2006.07.20 Liz -- I appreciate your distinction: "she was smart - just not always able to apply it to the situation at hand." I think that's often the case -- that we (as humans) intellectually know something, but don't have the behaviors to make it real or we don't have the experience to know when to apply something we know. So along with knowlege, we need "know how" and "know when." And that's harder to measure with a test. EstherDerby 2006.07.20 In addition, we need a working climate that makes it possible for us to apply what we know. I don't know how long the previous test lead was struggling in that environment. But it's at least possible that she was so beaten down by the prevailing climate that she couldn't even access what she knew -- let alone synthesize it and apply it. FionaCharles 21-Jul-2006 Good point, Fiona. When people are dissprited or afraid, or otherwise in emotional turmoil, short of sleep, over-stressed, or sick, its much harder for people to think clearly and use their own internal resources, EstherDerby 2006.07.21 I'm amazed and delighted at seeing how much energetic discourse this little sentence has generated. Well done, Steve! Now I'd like to go back to the beginning and do a little grammatical analysis, somewhat a la NLP (Don Gray, you're fresher at this, so you might want to correct me). "We are going to have to make the best of this." We: who is we? (I like your aphorism, Jim. I'll steal it.) Too ambiguous to mean anything (TATMA). are going to: When? Five years from now? again TATMA have to: as observed above, where does this come from? I don't have to do anything. TATMA make: this word has about a hundred meanings in my dictionary TATMA the best: optimization? to what criteria? TATMA this: this what? this opportunity to embarrass our boss and get him fired? TATMA I think Shakespeare said it: "Much ado about nothing." The best thing to do with null comments like this is to treat them like a passing breeze. Ignore them and get on with whatever you want to do. - JerryWeinberg 2006.07.23 The phrase "we are going to have to make the best of this ..." seems to be a modal operator. Challenges could be "What will happen if we don't make the best of this?", "What other choices do we have besides this ...". It could also be a lost referential index since "we" may not be defined (often "we" really means "you") and the person who made the statement may not be the person who made the decision ... The response to such would be "Says who?" DonGray 2006.08.18 I was going to point to a blog entry on "project killer phrases" (http://www.focusedperformance.com/2006/08/project-killer-phrases.html) but thought it better to point to its source , but when I got there, I found that it was written by Johanna Rothman. I feel like I've gone around in circles. :-) -- GeorgeDinwiddie 2006.08.22 Thanks, George. I'd forgotten that it was applicable to this thread :-) -- JohannaRothman 2006.08.22
Updated: Tuesday, August 22, 2006 |
