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SatirToolkitAdditions

SatirToolkitAdditions

I am collecting individual additions to the Satir Self Esteem Tool kit. Please ad any items which you have heard about to this list. Jerry's book More Secrets of Consulting: The Consultant's Tool Kit has many other ideas.

duct tape: things do not have do be done perfectly, it does not have to look beautiful the first time as long as it works.

dice: Some things in life are beyond your control, you must take calculated risks.

Ken Estes Oct 1 2002

Jerry often recommends a book about living with probabilities The Dice Man. I got about 1/3 of the way into it, and got distracted. It's wonderful, in a subversive, absurdist kind of way. I'll be finishing that one when I can give it the attention it deserves.

Anyone who's played board-based role playing or simulation games of course has a wonderful handle on dice and probabilities. In the end, you make your choices about what to try. How any given thing turns out is another matter - you roll the dice to find out.

At change shop, I picked up a little rock, which I've carried around every since, literally every day. It reminds me of some things in change shop that are helpful to me. It helps me remember to "carry them with me." They're pretty small and light, really. Eventually this little rock also came to remind me to take care of myself in part by securing and bringing with me the resources I need. I'm not stuck making a situation work with only what's there.

I lose things all the time. I find it curious that I haven't lost this rock. Perhaps it's just that I don't really care about these things I lose - an expensive pen, but so what? I can replace a pen, and get along with an alternative in the meanwhile. I care about this rock, as it's the only one I picked up at that time. I could find a substitute, but not a replacement.

In SEM I was gifted with a little turtle, with a head that moves in and out. That reminds me to come out of my shell sometimes. (Hard to believe, but I do check out and go into my shell sometimes. For example early this year when I "went dark" for a couple months. Barely spoke to another human in that time, and certainly didn't keep up with professional contacts.)

And I think, along the lines of both of these, keys can remind you of something different. For over 25 years, I've had a habit of touching my keys every time I shut a door that locks. I got annoyed when I locked myself out of my car one time too many. Metaphorically, I suppose that's a reminder to keep the ability to open doors that you've closed. Also to keep the tools you use to access resources, so you can get at the resources again later.

- JimBullock, 2002.10.1

As someone who tends many plants I value dirt. Dirt holds a plant tight, keeping its roots secure - a condition for terrestrial plants to grow. Dirt provides nutrients and holds in moisture that the plant needs. For me the metaphor is to remember to stay rooted and seek nutrition to stay healthy.

I love Ken's duct tape! My partner, Robert would agree wholeheatedly and say that duct tape and glue remind you in those times that you feel like you're coming apart, that you can mend.

- BeckyWinant 10-01-2002

What would any toolkit be without chocolate? Chocolate also provides nutrients, but is something you eat not because you have to but just because it is good. And sometimes you just need to do those things as well.

- MaigWorel 10-01-2002

I don't have chocolate in my toolkit, Maig, because chocolate makes me faint. But, you know, the Victorian ladies seemed to think that fainting once in a while was a good tool to have, so I may reconsider. - JerryWeinberg 2002.10.01

Watching one of my kids, I was reminded of a crucial self-esteem tool : training wheels, providing safety in the critical early phases of learning a new activity. I was denied training wheels several times in making the transition to management, on each occasion to deleterious effect on myself, the persons I inflicted my management on, and my own managers. (The silver lining is that I'm temporarily cured of the need to manage anything beyond myself.) A more recent occasion where I was allowed training wheels (co-facilitating a retrospective process with Nynke) provided an appreciable (and appreciated) contrast. -- LaurentBossavit 2002.10.03

Like chocolate for Jerry, I realize not everyone would want scent in their toolkit due to allergies. It fits for me, though.

- BeckyWinant 2002.10.20

Hmm, and you recommended I bring cheese in my suitcases, Becky. Not that I'm turning up my nose at the suggestion. But my toolkit had better also include adequate protective measures, like a hermetically sealed box. ;) -- LaurentBossavit 2002.10.20

Laurent, I believe Cheese is the food of gods. However, that may be my peculiar bias. I guess lots of zip lock bags keep the cheese from your clothes and other items. If not, know that at least one person will admire the smell. :)

Hmm... is a zip lock bag a tool kit item? It keeps us safe and sealed against potentially negative influence?

-BeckyWinant 2002.10.20

All this discussion about chocolate is particularly relevant for me. I have noticed that in the mid winter I often get a bit lugubrious (or as is said in Moby Dick "When ever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the read of every funeral I meet;"). I use chocolate, deliberately, to lift my mood. I have been doing this for years. I keep a box of it in my bedroom. This is the only food that I ever keep outside the kitchen. I hardly ever eat any in the summer time but I often go through a box or two in the darkest part of the winter. It is very convenient that my birthday is in late November and my mother always buys me a large box as a present. I am particularly fond of Baci the Italian dark chocolate with ground hazelnuts. So I would have to say that chocolate is already in my toolkit to improve my self esteem.

--KenEstes 2002.10.20

I think I can take some credit for convincing Johanna that beans and nuts are a good thing, but I haven't convinced her that bulgar wheat is an excellent breakfast food (yet).

EstherDerby 102302

Bring some 'Bulgar Wheat' to AYE. I found that Breakfast was a great time to meet people, well those who came to breakfast anyway. So If you have some around I would love to try some and see who I agree with.

--KenEstes 2002.10.23

I find myself re-reading More Secrets after AYE 2004. While percolating on Jerry's offerings, I realized there is a tool that emerged for me after AYE 2003 that I would like to share. It is a little finger-puppet of a monster-dragon.

Sometimes during meetings I feel emotions like frustration, powerlessness, anger, impatience, ... I want to shout, or scream, or worst of all sometimes I want to ignore or deny the emotions and let the feelings pass by altogether. The tiny puppet reminds me that perhaps for the moment it may seem like I am turning into a monster, but in fact I am a human, and it will probably serve me to take the time to look for the message within the emotion. Slipping the monster puppet on my finger is a metaphor for slipping on a shadow mask. I can always choose to remove the mask or the puppet, when and if it makes sense in the context that led me to wear it.

Another benefit of the puppet is its effect on others. Most of the time, my colleagues become curious as they watch me slip on the puppet. When I explain its purpose, they appreciate the playfullness and are ready and prepared to hear the message behind the emotion.

IraWeinstein Dec 4, 2004